There’s nothing wrong with frequently feeling horny. In fact, a healthy sex drive and sex life are important for overall health and quality of life. “Sexuality is normal and healthy, and having sex in any amount is a positive contributor to both mental and physical health,” Stray Conger says.
Some people will naturally have a higher sex drive than others, which is only a problem if it’s distracting or disruptive for the particular individual experiencing it.
“Being too horny is a thing when it becomes a problem for you and causes difficulties in your life,” clinical sexologist and sex therapist Cyndi Darnell tells mbg. If that’s the case, some of the methods for releasing sexual energy below can help, as can speaking with a reputable sexuality professional.
What about hypersexuality?
Hypersexuality has been defined in research as the “inability to regulate one’s sexual behavior that is a source of significant personal distress,” though the concept is hotly debated among experts. Not all experts agree that it’s a real condition, and it is not recognized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Likewise, the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists states that there’s not enough empirical evidence to support the existence of “sex addiction.”
All that said, if your experiences around sexuality and desire feel distressing or out of control, it’s worth reaching out to a sex therapist or other sexuality professional for support.
“It is understood that out-of-control sexual behavior, as referred to by skilled professionals, is a thing, but it’s not a disease as such,” Darnell says. “It’s about a balanced relationship with sexuality, pleasure, values, and emotions.”
How to deal with horny feelings:
Have sex regularly.
If you’re feeling horny and have a consenting partner, have sex. Not only does frequent intimacy increase overall satisfaction in a relationship, but sex also boasts health benefits, like lowering stress and increasing cognitive functioning, according to sex therapist Sara Sloan, Ph.D., LMFT-A. In fact, she recommends having sex every 48 hours.
Masturbate.
One of the easiest ways to get your sexual energy out is through masturbation. “Somatic techniques and mindful masturbation are a great way to energize the body and release stored erotic energy,” Darnell says. “Tantric practices can also be helpful, moving sexual energy around the body to use in other ways.”
There are many other health benefits of masturbation, too.
Find other sexual outlets.
Virtual sex and phone sex are creative ways to get your sexual energy out without actually engaging in any physical acts if you don’t want to. Watching porn, either with a partner or on your own, can also help scratch the itch. (Here: our guide to finding ethical porn.)
Exercise.
While it’s definitely a different type of physical activity, exercising can also help lower stress and release feel-good hormones. In that sense, engaging in exercise may release some built-up sexual tension in the body.
Practice mindfulness.
Mindfulness meditations are meant to help people connect with their breath and focus on the present moment. This technique has often been used to help treat addiction and in that same sense may help with compulsive sexual behaviors if they begin to interfere with your daily life. Some people use meditation as a way of getting the effects of masturbation without doing it.
When to get help.
If feeling horny begins interfering with work, relationships, or other areas of life, or if it feels significantly distressing to you, reach out to a reputable sexuality professional such as a sex therapist. It may also be important to get help if you’re engaging in risky sexual behaviors that could have a potentially damaging impact on your health, Stray Conger adds.
One of the biggest hang-ups for people who feel horny often is shame. According to Megwyn White, certified clinical sexologist and director of education at Satisfyer, this shame is often due to a stigma around the topic of sexuality and masturbation. A sexuality professional can also support you in working through these negative feelings so you can feel more at peace with yourself.
The bottom line.
There are plenty of everyday factors that can make you feel hornier than normal. Some of them can be controlled, like what we eat and how often we masturbate. Others, like our hormonal fluctuations or the change in seasons, are inevitable.
“It’s important to recognize that it’s totally normal when you feel horny,” White says, noting that feeling horny is just your body sending you a message about what it wants and what feels good. Unless your high libido is interfering with your daily life, there’s nothing wrong with those sexual urges.
