Things To Know When You Have An Affair With A Married Woman
When you get involved with a woman who is already married, you feel you are probably more desirable than her husband. It starts with emotional infidelity and ends up in the bedroom as it might lead to you having the best sex with her. Plus, you may feel that she is not keen on marriage, unlike other single women, and you can have good fun without dodging questions of commitment.
Slowly, feelings start to develop, and you find it hard to accept that she is not ‘yours’. The initial thrill fades away as you realize she meets you when she wants you (or when she can), not the other way round. She spends all her time with her family but has a quickie with you leaving you wanting her even more.
And that’s why you need to know the probable consequences of having an affair with a married woman is that you will feel emotionally dissatisfied and will continuously find yourself craving her company.
- She’s not going to leave her husband or break up her family
In the Indian context, a woman can rarely think of breaking her family and going for divorce unless under extreme circumstances. Across the world, women find it hard to break their own homes and walk out of the marriage just because they get the thrill somewhere else.
Being a male, you should be aware of this fact and you may continue until she decides to end it due to certain emotional or family reasons. When you are in an affair with a married woman you will be left to nurse a broken heart. However, don’t lose all hope. There are certain situations where an extramarital happily ever after does exist.
At the same time, it cannot be the presumed outcome of such a relationship. If you’re in love with a married woman, it’s best to have a frank conversation about whether you two ending up together is even a possibility for her. This will help you set expectations realistically.
- She may just be looking for revenge
Many married women engage in an extramarital affair if they suspect their husband is having one or have discovered the same. While having an affair with you, she may just be using you to teach her husband a lesson. She may be feeling that she is giving her husband a taste of his own medicine while sleeping with you.
Maybe, the great sex that you had was part of the beautiful revenge she had planned for her husband. So your relationship with a married woman is a tool for revenge. Think long and hard about the nature of your relationship.
Did it begin as an emotional affair with a married woman and then turn physical? Or is it purely driven by lust? The answer will give you clarity on why a married woman is having an affair with you.
- She may be beating boredom or spicing up her life
After years of marriage, monotony sets in. But options are available. A routine sets in and sex becomes boring. A new person to share some feelings with and a passionate session of sex make it look exciting and happening again.
So she was maybe just having fun, while you may assume she’s serious about the relationship. Does she ask you to use sex toys? Is she very interested in experimenting even with the condoms you buy? She tries all kinds of seduction tricks on you from pouring hot chocolate sauce to licking ice cream off of you?
As mind-blowing as the sex may be, chances are she is just fulfilling her fantasies with you. You’re the exciting forbidden fruit that adds thrill to her otherwise plain and predictable life.
- You are just an exciting chapter in the book of her life
A relationship with a married woman is at her convenience. Because she’s hiding from her husband. She may end it if she develops a fear of getting caught. Or maybe, when she gets caught. Or if she’s just looking for some fun outside, she may leave you when she finds another option or gets bored of her affair the way she did with her husband.
This uncertainty can also keep you hooked to this relationship with a married woman and make you desire her more. However, this momentary thrill can lead to a lifetime of scarring. So, it’s best to enter the affair, knowing that it can end at any point in time.
- Be ready for the heartbreak
Because the woman you love will suddenly disappear any day it may be wise to know this and accept it. Research has it that only 7% of women walk away from their families to be with someone new. You can count your chances on your fingers.
And if you are emotionally attached to the point of no return, God help you. When she pulls back, you may be left feeling like the heartbreak will kill you. Yes, if you’re truly in love with a married woman and she doesn’t see a future with you, you have to brace yourself for intense, crippling pain. You might find it hard to recover from your affair with a married woman.
- Problems to build your own family
Men who get involved with married women feel their partners will leave their husbands and start a family with them. This is a rare occurrence. And in waiting for this to happen, they let go of other options to settle down and have a family. Sometimes, the wait is so long that such men end up staying alone all their lives.
Never, in any case, imagine a future with her. Because women generally turn back to their family and saving it will be their priority. “I’m seeing a married woman and it’s good while it lasts but it may not last forever,” remind yourself of this every single day so that you don’t lose sight of reality in the throes of emotions.
- You are the second option
Her husband is her priority. She might cancel plans with you if she needs to be with her family or husband. Be ready for the ‘second fiddle’ stuff in your affair with a married woman.
We know of someone who was having an affair with a married woman and had a romantic evening planned with private dining arrangements along with flowers and champagne only to have her cancel on him at the last minute. She texted him five minutes before they were supposed to meet that she wouldn’t be able to make it as her husband brought home pizza and wanted to do a movie night with the kids.
So, even when what you have planned sounds more fun and appealing, she will always pick her family. When she calls you, sounding sorry and crestfallen, and says, “Baby, I want nothing more than to be with you right now but I can’t risk my husband getting suspicious”, what can you even do except being understanding.
- Family commitments first
You have planned a beautiful evening with her. But she says her kids want to watch a movie. She will go to the cinema, and you will end up feeling what? Left out. It’s natural; a woman will give priority to her family. In an extramarital affair, you will have to make the compromise most of the time.
That’s why getting too closely attached to your partner can lead to immense and repeated disappointments and hurt. Even if you’re in an emotional affair with a married woman and love her deeply, learn to protect yourself.
- She has sex with her husband too
You can’t rule this one out. No matter what she says, what happens behind that bedroom door stays there. While having sex with you, she may also be having sex with her husband. Being in a relationship with a married woman means saying goodbye to all the norms of exclusivity that you have been conditioned to believe in.
You have to make your peace with the fact that she is sexually intimate with another man, and perhaps, sleeps with him more often than she does with you. This can lead to jealousy rearing its ugly head in an affair with a married woman, and ‘do not ask, do not tell’ is the best policy to keep those unpleasant feelings of jealousy, insecurity and possessiveness out of the equation.
And if she’s out to experience some fun outside the marriage, they may be a couple more partners too. Make sure you use protection to avoid any kind of STDs.
