1. Change how you describe yourself
If you constantly think of yourself as being an introvert and see that as a bad thing, that belief will make you feel uncomfortable in social situations.
You won’t feel good enough compared to others who are more outgoing and loud.
On the other hand, if you see yourself as being a confident introvert who decides to be social at times, then you are in control of the situation.
It’s not about you being an introvert all the time where you’ve got no control over it, you’re not as social and outgoing as others and therefore you’re not as cool as others.
You don’t fit in.
You’re not right.
There’s something wrong with you.
No.
There’s nothing wrong with you.
The fact is, there’s nothing wrong with being an extrovert and there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert.
Both are simply two different ways of being.
Neither person is correct.
Neither person is doing it the right way.
They’re just two different ways to go about living life.
There’s no correct way that you have to be.
However, if you are naturally more of an introvert, you need to embrace that rather than trying to force yourself to become Mr. Social and always trying to be the center of attention when you don’t actually want to be that way.
Instead, what you need to do is to be confident about the fact that you are an introvert and take control of the situation by deciding when and where you want to be a bit more extroverted, when and where you want to be a bit more social.
So, if you’re out in a social situation and you don’t feel like socializing with other people, don’t beat yourself up over that.
Don’t think of yourself as not being good enough for other people, or as other people being better than you.
No.
In that moment, you simply do not want to socialize.
If you are in a social situation on another day and you want to socialize, then you decide that you want to socialize and you go ahead and do that.
Don’t go home and say to yourself, “Oh, I’m a loser because I can only socialize on some days.”
No.
Change how you describe yourself.
Say to yourself, “I am a confident introvert. I am in control of my life. If I want to socialize, I socialize. If I don’t want to socialize, I don’t socialize.”
So, how does that attract women?
Well, when you have that type of confidence in yourself, women notice.
They see it as mysterious.
They can’t quite work out why you feel confident, you feel worthy, you feel good enough, but you’re not going around putting on a song and dance for everyone.
You’re not trying to entertain everyone and be the center of attention all the time.
Sometimes, you joke around and talk with people and you become the center of attention temporarily, but you’re not always trying to seek it; you’re not trying to entertain people and hope to be liked.
As a result, you have a mysterious interesting type of confidence and personality that women naturally find attractive.
2. Stop focusing on yourself and focus on others
One of the advantages that introverts have over extroverts is that generally speaking, they spend more time analyzing and being introspective than extroverts do.
Some extroverts spend a lot of time talking, being in the moment and not really thinking too much about what they’re saying or doing, they just want to enjoy life and be in the moment, so to speak.
Once again, there’s nothing wrong with being like that and an introvert can be like that at times if he wants to.
Remember, you are in control of your life.
You are allowed to be whoever you want in any particular moment.
Now, that said…
While introverts have an advantage of being so introspective and analyzing things, sometimes that can get in an introverts way of succeeding with women.
Sometimes an introvert can get so caught up in his own head that he starts becoming insecure, anxious and unsure of himself when talking to women.
As you would know, women are turned off by that.
Women are attracted to confidence.
You need to be able to display confidence and maintain your confidence around a woman in order to make her feel attracted and to maintain her attraction for you.
So, one of the ways that you can do that is to stop focusing on yourself in the interactions.
Stop thinking about yourself and how the other person would be perceiving you.
Stop worrying about what you said and if it’s cool enough and so on.
Just get lost in the details of the other person.
Focus on who she is, what she is saying, what she is wearing or doing.
Don’t even pay attention to yourself.
When a woman sees that you’re not in your head worrying about what others think of you, she feels attracted to the fact that you can be present in the moment and not be caught up in your head worrying about whether or not you’re good enough, or are saying the right thing when talking to her.
As a result of talking to a woman in that way, you stand out from pretty much every other guy.
Most guys that she interacts with, if she’s attractive, have a subtle or very obvious look of fear on their face as they talk to her.
The guy is hoping that she likes him.
He is on his best behavior and he’s trying really hard to get a chance with her.
What you’ll notice when you focus on other people when you’re talking to them and stop focusing on yourself, is that it actually makes you temporarily more of an extrovert.
It doesn’t make you an extrovert all the time and you can still continue being the introvert that you are and there’s no problem with that at all.
Don’t ever feel bad about yourself for wanting to be introverted at times.
However, when you use the approach of focusing on the other person and getting lost in the details of what they’re talking about, it temporarily makes you more extroverted.
The focus of your energy and attention is outside of your body.
It’s not inside of your head where you’re getting nervous, over-analyzing things and worrying about how you are coming across.
Instead, you are looking at the other person.
You are present in the moment and they can feel it.
3. Understand that less is often more when it comes to attracting women
There’s nothing wrong with a guy having a great time during a conversation with a woman, having fun, making her laugh and even entertaining her if he wants to during a conversation.
There’s nothing wrong with that.
However, where guys go wrong is that they try really hard to entertain a woman, make her laugh all the time and hopefully give her a good enough of the experience that she then selects him and decides to be with him.
Yet, the problem is when a woman can sense that a guy is trying really hard to be liked by her and is trying really hard to get a chance with her, she actually sees him as lower value.
She senses that he doesn’t feel good enough for her and as a result, she starts to feel like she’s better than him.
Even though she is not better than him, he has made her think that way by trying really hard to get her approval, trying really hard to make her say, “Well, you’re a really fun guy. I like you.”
So, this is where you can use being an introvert to your advantage.
Be confident, have a fun and interesting conversation with her, but don’t feel the need to try very hard and put on a show for her to hopefully like you.
What you’ll find when you use that approach with women is that it’s more than good enough.
You don’t have to go out of your way to be super entertaining and crack jokes every second, keep a high paced interaction, be the center of attention in a group and make everyone laugh in order to get a woman to like you.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being the center of attention, commanding a group and making everyone laugh.
You can build that skill as well if you want to.
However, what you need to understand as an introvert, is that you don’t actually need to go to those lengths to be able to get laid and get a girlfriend.
It’s actually a lot more simple than that.
