Sexual performance anxiety is not an officially recognized medical or psychiatric condition; nonetheless, it is one of the most common sex-related complaints among men.
The lack of a precise medical diagnosis or a least a mention in medical or psychological texts can make getting help harder for men who are experiencing it.
At a very general level, sexual performance anxiety is the state of being anxious before, during, and/or after sex.
That covers a lot of ground, from worrying about whether you’ll even be able to perform to being anxious about pleasing your partner to measuring up to your partner’s previous lovers.
While the factors contributing to sexual performance anxiety are mostly attributed to psychological causes, it can potentially spill over and lead to physical problems, such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation (PE), and difficulty reaching orgasm.
In fact, research shows that performance anxiety is an important risk factors in developing sexual difficulties like PE.
The most insidious aspect of sexual performance anxiety is that it is easy to fall into a vicious circle: anxiety before a sexual encounter can lead to physical performance issues that then feeds into even more anxiety the next time around.
This can lead to persistent difficulty getting it up, prematurely ejaculating, and lacking enjoyment, all of which can lead to even more sexual and relationship problems down the line.
In other words, what may initially start out as a minor anxiety issue may quickly warp into a huge problem.
Let’s take a look at how sexual performance anxiety often starts.
What Are the Causes of Performance Anxiety in Men?
There are a lot of potential reasons why a guy might experience sexual performance anxiety.
Most of them stem from the mistaken belief that you will somehow do something—or not be able to do something—that will end up disappointing your partner.
Sex is not like a TV show or movie that needs to be reviewed and critiqued, but turning it into that is just about the quickest way to make sex anxiety-provoking instead of fun.
Even the most confident guy is bound to be a bit nervous if he thinks his partner is going to be overly critical of his sexual prowess.
Let’s take a quick look at five of the most common reasons guys might experience performance anxiety.
Poor self-image
People want to feel good about themselves.
Yet, all of us have certain aspects of ourselves, especially our bodies, that we don’t particularly like. Lots of guys fear that by being intimate with another person, they may expose some of these flaws and, ultimately, experience rejection.
Typically, guys have the most concerns about their weight and muscle mass, as well as their penis size and appearance.
General relationship problems with your partner
Even for guys with the most active sex lives, intercourse itself makes up only a tiny fraction of the daily interactions they have with their lover.
There’s a heck of a lot more to a relationship than sex, and the overall quality of your relationship has important implications for your sex life.
Indeed, a poor relationship outside the bedroom can increase performance anxiety between the sheets.
Men who have trouble communicating openly and honestly with their significant other often fall into this category.
Worrying about your inability to satisfy your partner
Whether you are having sex with someone for the first time, or with your spouse of ten years, concerns about pleasing and pleasuring your lover have the potential to rattle your nerves.
This is particularly true immediately following a sex session that did not work out as well as you might have liked.
Perhaps you feel your own performance fell short or your partner did not seem fully content.
Whatever is causing you to feel intimidated when it comes to having sex, it’s important to know that sexual performance anxiety solutions exist and that, yes, you can learn to enjoy having sex again.
